Mommy Guilt

I am suffering from mommy guilt BIG TIME today. My daughter is on half days until the end of the school year (which is tomorrow) and she is bored to death. I know that she is 11 now and she can entertain herself but I really feel like I should be doing something with her and yes I SHOULD be doing things with her throughout the day. I just have so little energy, I have numerous health conditions, three of which are autoimmune and zap my energy , I can't function at the pace of a healthy person, when I try I end up laid up for days. On top of that I have several serious illnesses going on in my family, one of my very close family members, I won't say who or what relation as the person is very private, any way that person is terminal. So besides my household chores, my numerous doctors appointments, my husband's appointments (he is a disabled combat veteran) I am running back and forth between family members homes as well and I'm not sleeping well...last night I slept for 2 hours and it was broken sleep. So my brain wants to get up and do all kinds of fun things with my daughter but my body ...ugh...my body just won't so I sit here and feel guilty. Even though I know I have valid reasons and I know that there will be better days than this that I will be up to a lot of things....today I just feel like a crap mom.

Why are we so hard on ourselves? If it were my best friend telling me exactly what I just wrote I would tell her that half a day of being bored isn't going to hurt her child, that it will actually help her kid to learn how to keep herself occupied. I would tell her that she needs to put herself first sometimes because if she doesn't take care of herself then she won't be able to take care of anyone else. But since its me I just beat myself up, and I know a lot of you are guilty of it as well....but one thing I will tell you is if you are beating yourself up then you don't have to worry about if you are a bad mom....a bad mom wouldn't give a thought to if she were being a bad mom or a good mom.....