Introversion

I am a born introvert but I spent much of my life feeling inferior....while gaggles of little girls with pig tails giggled as little boys chased after them on the playground I was the one on the swings pretending I was the goddess of wind lol. In Jr High when kids were gossiping at the lunch tables I was in the office helping the office ladies with their work, when it was time for the school play rather than try out for a role I was quite happy to wear all black and disappear into the darkness back stage as a stage hand. The trend continued into high school and college...I was not only introverted I was also shy, you see they are two very different things although the outside world lumps the two together. People who are shy tend to stay away from others because of fear of judgement, they worry what others will think. Introverts just enjoy less stimulation and their own company or the company of one or two close friends.

I spent my adolescent years watching the extroverts and wishing I could be like them, those popular girls whose hair seemed to move in perfect slow motion when they tossed their heads back laughing at whatever the hot football player said. They were invited to all the parties, always had dates and even were chummy with the teachers. I thought something was wrong with me and that wasn't just my own doing, the world tends to celebrate extroverts while introverts are looked at as a bit, antisocial and perhaps even stuck up. You see shows like "Friends", "Glee", "Cheers", "Vampire Diaries" lol etc where people are having the time of their lives in groups and crowds....its very rare that you find a show that stars introverts, there is "The Big Bang Theory" which I do happen to love but even that carries that introvert stereo type, nerdy and odd .

It's funny because my husband is a total extrovert, he can talk to ANYONE, seriously, he can and actually WANTS to strike up a conversation. He loves parties and is energized by other people, he loves to play his xbox and talk to his friends on it and is just a complete people person. I on the other hand, will do just about anything to get out of going to a party and if I have to go I pray that they have a dog so I can spend the hours cuddling it rather than mingling.I hate small talk, I hate talking on the phone even to friends and relatives, I really do have to work myself up before I make a phone call. I've been known to crave pizza really badly but not order it because I didn't want to interact with the delivery person and if the mail carrier drives up I wait until he has put the mail in the box and driven away so I don't have to talk. It sounds bitchy, I know, but it is not driven by my inner bitch I swear. I would be perfectly happy to live in a remote cabin in Alaska as long as I had internet. I have one in person friend and the rest of my friends are online and I've never met them.

I've finally embraced my introversion, rather than trying to be something I'm not I have embraced who I am and now relish my introversion.  I spend hours reading, painting and watching old movies. I enjoy silence and a dimly lit room, it soothes me and feels like a giant hug.

For those of you who aren't introverts I ask you to read this article that explains introverts better than I ever could. My husband read it and finally understands me, finally understands why after a party or dinner with my family I need to come home and just be left alone for awhile.

If you are an introvert EMBRACE it, if you are an extrovert embrace that too! Embrace who you are.